Memo: Re: Colon Clenz
Immediate Attention: Stanislav Wax, Corporate Dept. of Internal Affairs. Is there any way we can stop this type of conversation? It is really quite demeaning to our public image. We found this memo exchange on the computer of Meeve A., upstairs. He and Hector S. are getting out of hand…
Hector:
Meev, Rodney Arbo, staff masseuse, sent me a new product to review with you. It’s called Colon Clenz. What do you think?
Meeve:
What a great offer! Cojone, I am so lucky to receive these kinds of product updates.
Hector:
Not so hasty. The medical fact is that if you drink this stuff then put a small garden hose up your ass, you will begin to flush out not only toxins, but also your spleen and your lips and even your reading glasses. I did this just last week and a marmoset came out into the toilet. I was amazed and told both my friends. At first they didn’t believe me but I showed them the cage and the little spinning wheel that came out after the marmoset.
Meeve:
I always have a garden hose in my ass. Is that so wrong? The marmoset thing is not unusual. According to my friends at Colon Clenz, many people have rodents in their digestive system. When not using a garden hose, I like to aerate my system with the air compressor that I got for cheap at Costco.
Hector:
I’m still laughing.
Meeve:
I am reading this and laughing again. As my kids say, I crack myself up. this is inspired journalism by both of us. If anyone reads it, we will be committed.
Hector:
You may laugh, but an out of work city employee in Des Moines used something called Colon Powell Cleanse, an extra-strength military colonizer. He took three teaspoons before bedtime and when he woke up a pipe wrench shot out of his ass, striking his mother-in-law in the solar plexus. Later the same evening he farted and bag of penny nails blew a hole through his pajama pants.
Am I sick, or what?
Meeve:
I cannot stop laughing long enough to respond. If you are sick, I am right there with you.
I just wanted to mention that Sara Palin’s recent responses to “allegations” of her incompetence are excellent proof of her incompetence. And ignorance. And lack of maturity. I will miss her when she is not in the news. She is so entertaining. Especially now that we know that she will not be the vice prez. I hope she runs in 2012. She is funny as hell and we can easily defeat her.